Walking in a Winterland

Now is the winter of my discontent..... Not this year though business ventures have failed and We are financially in a bucket strangely I am in a good mood. maybe venting on the net is psychologically satisfiying and good... I hear so many bad things said about modern life but my honest belief is the toilet, runningwater and airconditioning trump everything mankind have created,including watching the resurrection and the Fall of Troy. I have a appreciation of modern life given to me by spending many a summer in state and national park living without these gifts of civilization. But I do wish I could see something of the past it would be to the medditerrean when it had spruce forests covering it. America before industialization. Those parts of the past I do Idealize and wish to see. But I do not wish to live in the past only to return earth, nature and wildlife to its healthy and pristine state of being, before Yahweh gave us Earth to do what we will, Without Her permission. I honestly believe that humankind can be technologically advanced and live on a ecologically sound and healthy world. I believe It will cost money to create this world but unlike conservatives I do not believe in living in my mothers house for free and not cleaning up after myself. That is what my little two story house is for.

I personally do not wish to live in time or place though they still exist in many places on earth, where I am only considered a repository for male sperm. People who think the present is nasty and bleak and perverted I have bad news for you, the past was also nasty and bleak and perverted to at times. We do not remember because chances are we weren't born and did not experience it or were young and too naive to understand it. OH well. I had a psychologist tell me once that an adjustment in attitude could change the dimension in which one lives. Norse believe it can also change the past as well as the present to them time is fluid not a river flow but an ocean tide ebbing and flowing.

This Solstice will be spent working on the ground work of the infamous New Year Resolution. Drum Rolllllllllllllll LOSING WEIGHT. Tada. Hopefully I can spend more time in an personally adjusted attitude instead of a reactive attitude.

Thank the Gods no one has wished me a merry christmas. Probably because I decided how to reply this year and I am not letting out the signals of an insecure rabbit. No one is pouncing on me for saying Happy Holiday to them like last year. If someone says Merry Christmas to me I say Thank you. Succint and to the point and the greeting is intiated by the other party. I feel very comfortable this year. Next Year if aforementioned policy works I will get in the Solstice Zone by imaging myself as Sweden in the War on Christmas.

wandering, Whining and "HEAVEN FORBID DANCING

As a little girl I took dancing lessons ballet I had no talent and really wanted to fence but I developed a love of dancing for ballet and really any kind including whirling like a dervish it seemed that through movement I truly quieted an agitated mind and soul that I had even as a child. I developed a distaste for physicality due to abuse by friend of the family as a young child. But dancing was my joy. I find it ironic no matter how conservative a culture is it cannot destroy dancing among the common man and woman. people need dancing for it is the one true way for the soul to commune with the divine in physicality. It is a gift. Like the dancer so poor that the only gift he could give his Goddess was his dance. everytime a person dances in boundless joy, creative concentration everytime their souls are uplifted or forgets the pain of disconnect from the divine, the divine , grows brighter and strong., ones soul is recharged and good in the Universe is recharged. It is win win and boosts the metabolism of body , mind, heart and soul. good for the diet of the soul and body.
After 15 years of happy marriage my husband loves to dance with me in fact he has told me I am the only woman he ever asked to. Now at Harvest Balls he dances happily and contently. Dance truely is given birth to by joy.


This brings me to the Gods, Eurynome in particular AS a girl I loved reading about Greek Gods and it is strange I do not worship them. But the description of Her in particular haunts me, inspire me and emboldens me. She who loved movement to so much she created the ebb and flow of the universe out of Her dance and brought forth the cosmos. She the divine progenitrix creating the physical world out joy. Unlike other religous beliefs Her Material reality is to be savored enjoyed imbued with enthusiasism and love of physicality Her Nirvana is to join the dance of molecules and atomic particles and subatomic material and line dancing with string theories. It is not a world to be escaped but to be embraced. I Know for me Heaven would be six years old whirling to the Monkees, dancing a polka, cutting the disco rug, putting on the Ritz.
If humankind is saved it will be because we spiral dance into the physical instead of running away to the ether. Ether is gas I really donot want to spend reality in spiritual methane pocket. Glad not to be feeling but still smellin ripe trancendency.

Children should not wander the world is too dangerous, they should explore under unobtrusive but watchful Eye. Adults should wander constantly continuously through life alone or with partner. Physically, mentally, ,spiritually,philosophically and polictically. When a person tells me they believe everything that their parents church school etc. taught them as a child I truly pity them. No One is omnipotent and NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH. at least on earth. I am Certain someone is omnipotent in the Universe but She is too big and too Omnipotent for my stuck in the material world brain to wrap around. Do I Want to know the TRuth DO CHILDREN REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS SANTA IS A MYTH. I really have no wish to be on a phallic quest for ultimate Knowledge. Most people don't want to know god they want to tell him what to do. That is why so many religous folk cannot keep their noses out of other peoples business. To them spiriuality is a moral Monopoly game with controling the divine and access to the divine one of the goals. TRue piety is left to the renunciates who get no lazy enjoyment out of reality.

SO dance because in the END hopefully the music of the spheres will guide us into the line dance of a another dimension.

Cards Carrots and Renunciates.

well The christmas war front seems quiet. But then This year I am firing the first salvo in the trench wars of religious ideology clashing, My holiday cards were unrepentant in their Heathen appreciation of the Yule Season. My husband was amusing today as we shopped for our Solsitice gift to each other this year I got a juicer I am going to explore the raw food diet... I have always wanted to be a Vegetarian and very much admire Vegans. I have only been able to be a vegetarian for three years in my life. In my mid-twenties when I gave up smoking and took up long distance running I was a lacto-vegetarian with occasional lapses with egg products for two years and two years ago I quit smoking again and was a vegetarian for a year as I started working out again. I very much lack extended focus in staying vegetarian as I donot believe that I should force my dietary beliefs on my husband who is a unrepentant carnivore who tries to be a omnivore whenever I vegg-out.

To me vegetarianism is a spiritual choice not just a dietary one being a Vegan to me is part and parcel in living a spiritual life, one good way along the path of being a modern world renunciate. It seems everytime I quit being a veg is when I get entangled with buddhism I start not wanting to be a pain in the ass and revert to omnivorism. I would like some help and tips anecdotes and old fashion advice from modern day spiritualists and mystics on how to incorporate spiritual vegetarianism in to my life and not be a pain in the ass or a matyr. I always thought a happy renunciate is a good role model may be that is why I am attracted to Tibetan Buddhism, their monks and nuns are always so calm and happy. Some are even downright jolly despite their troubles.

Good Day Saturday

Today My inner soundtrack is composed of seventies perky tween music that I listen to when I was a middle schooler. Partridge family and monkees fluff. Just one good election can revert one back to the days before reading Germaine Greer and other 70's radicals the innocence of childhood. Dont Believe it. Childhood was never innocent. Child molesters hid behind every tree in the 70's just like they do today. Only difference is more children have a voice and are believed when they complain about the nasty person. Everything that neocons like my biological family complain about is delusionary. If I really looked at the past the mores, the virtues, the perversions they are the same today as they were back then. The only difference is there is less sweeping under the rug going on and more breast beating when inappopriate behavior occurs and people get caught at it. Everybody is a Drama Queen nowdays. People say that tabloids are ruining society because we now gossip about celebrities. Honestly I would rather gossip about someone who makes millions of dollar acting than my neighbor or best.friend. But I dont believe any gossiping is good unless it is about peoples good works. I have really found it easy not to dwell on the sexual misdeeds of prominent people who work hard on the appearance of virtueousness..////

Maybe that is the reason for many a supposed good persons fall. The concern with appearance virtue in their life instead of cultivating true virtue in their lives. To blame the people around them, of forcing perfection on them. Is really blaming ones associates for ones character defect and not individual whose defect it is. But really if a little person was caught doing so we cluck and shake our heads and say bad breeding, bad education or not enough of the right religious belief. When big people fall we always try to turn it into a Greek tragedy when all it is really is a Jerry Springer Epic.

Happy Days are here again

Well I feel giddy and grateful for the first time in many years. I spontaneous praised God when I heard the election results. She did a great job. And the American people did good too. Now we can work to build bridges with the sane countries of the world and get help to ones enthralled in madness as we have been these last 12-years. Now we must work to heal not just America but starship Earth,dear Gaia and other people homelands, their motherlands and fatherlands.....It is kumbaya time whatever your religion you are. Humanity must give up its collective selfishness or all we are is enslaving our children and descendants to hopelessness. AND TO THOSE PEOPLE SCREAMING "END TIMES" EVERYTIME THEY CONTEMPLATE HAVING TO ROLL UP THEIR SLEEVES AND TIGHTEN THEIR BELT TO CLEAN UP THE FUTURE FOR OUR CHILDREN. THE END OF THE WORLD IS NOT AN OBSCENE BOOK SERIES YOU PUT AWAY AFTER READING IT COMPULSIVELY.

My parents lived through WWII in europe the bombing, the stravation, the massacres by NAZI and Communists The FEar of being Repatriated if unable to find a country willing to take you in. REpatriation meant A quick trip to a firing squad or a Labor camp sentence of life in good old siberia. Something economic illegal aliens do not face. End Times Happened it was WWII and the fight against facisism and stalinism. WE won Fundies are too stupid to notice because social responsibilty is hard message to raise money with. It is easier to wave a boogeyman in front the congregation and hear kaching in the church coffer.

WEll let us all pray for America and the world for the real work is to come and the real sacrifices coming up. My beginning sacrifice is I will work on my compulsive spending and lowering my debt so I may give more money to charity to help the poor and disadvantage including poor mother earth. This I offer in honor of God, " Her miracles bright and great."

Politics and realitivity

Well today I heard that Kerry apologized instead of giving good old Americans a reality check but then he is an politician and they really hate it when any one sees things as it really is. Especially Kerry should know how wars are run having seen action. Kerry WASNOT calling American soldiers stupid. He was stating the future he saw occuring: If America Does Not AWAKE from the Qausi-religico stupor WE have fallen into. What he saw HE learned and experienced in the Old war Vietnam ANOTHER RElIGIOUS WAR in which America Backed A CATHOLIC POLITICAL REGIME IN SOUTH VIETNAM. As it tried to impose catholism on the Buddhist Masses, Cronkite never told you that truth. Premier of South Vietnam was the brother of the head of the archdioses of Southeast Asia, three months before america went to war this Premier made Catholic Holidays federal holidays and stopped the national celebration of Buddhist holidays this made the vietnamese hot under the collar. Look how upset Christians in America get when you wish them a Happy Holiday. In that war the rich people of america did not have to sacrifice their sons as people who went to university were exempt. That was all that Kerry was stating a Bitter Cynical look into the future as he saw it. And He is right do you think that when they are finally going to trowl for more soldiers for Iraq they are going to show up at Havard University or Yale. THEY'RE going to SHOW-up at the Vo-Tech on the day the REpublicans slash Government Grants. So GROW-UP AMERICA THE POOR fight our WARS. The POOR and THE BADLY EDUCATED. Having grown up poor and been badly educated and in the military all Kerry was stating was the TRUTH. BEING BADLY EDUCATED DOES NOT = STUPID but it DOES = CANNON FODDER.

debating about fluff

steppe wanderer
Today I ended up arguing about religion. I really wish I could remember what my husband says to every time this happens "don't argue about religion neither side ever wins and everyone just gets all heated up. But since this is my blog I will discuss it. It started out as a talk about South Park and conspiracies and ended talking about seriously for the other person how the rich who run the world worship satan and pagan gods and have been doing this since the days of old Babylon. I have heard the satanic theory and the rich before, hell(no pun) Kubricks last movie was about it. But I thought they worshipped satan and an owl. This incarnation is lucifer and Janus the Roman god of doorways "read as openings and passages in reality and metaphor". To me these theories are adhered to by people who were educated by reading piffle written by so-called historians educated in religious schools masquerading as colleges and universities when what they really are is extended sunday school or story time for adults with money to waste. These theories are popular because it allows people to say that the dominant institutes in control of social behauvior , religion "read Christianity" has nothing to do and has not help create the mess that the world is in. Maybe this arguement flew in 200 AD. But having killed all the pagans in europe centuries ago and more or less destroyed them among native americans and captive africans I these beliefs are scurrilous and base and without honor. It is the old arguement WE are not at fault it is the evil pagans that did it. I suppose that I should be thankful I was not exposd to the old elders of zion rant but the Rothchilds where mentioned in passing.

tragedy and God

I was reading a news article about a woman and her children brutally murdered. IN it a woman acquainted with the Family stated that we must turn to God Because only He can explain events like this occuring. Please Religous People Think before you use a tragedy or a crises as a platform for our religous beliefs and the conversion of unbelieving masses. I know you mean well but God does not come out well in this use of Her name. It gives some people the view of God allowing this to happen so that She can step in as supersage and enlighten us. Our worse is an ambulance chaser. It is really bad when family members use their tragedy to witness for whatever religion they believe in. Yes they are in great pain unfortunately in trying to use this as a missionary moment they are not psychological dealing with pain. Sometimes God cannot answer our questions, sometimes the light goes out briefly. Sometimes you are not witnessing for God but deluding yourself with religious platitudes, deal with the pain. REalize that everyone feels pain religious, atheist, spiritual or mystical. IN the end they all learn to deal with it or perish with divine help or self-reliance.

Mealy America

I found that my post was edited a few days ago. Wonder why???? WAS I inciting Al Queda and muslim americans or advocating the return of slavery. WAS ASking that heretics, witches. homosexuals and jews be burned again or did I promulgate that Jesus is the only god and those who does not believe this will burn eternally in Hell or excuse me HE double toothpicks, and these people are thus evil and must destroyed. THings one can normally be find on the Internet. NOOOOO> I fortunately used the sh-t and my freedom of speech was immediately erased. IF YOU DO NOT like reading my blog and seeing the word sh_t then do not read. But please go to a MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL AND FIND OUT WHY YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED BY DEFECATION. There might be a repressed child abuse case in the making.

Surging Tides

Today I watched Spike Lee's new documentary everytime I watch something made by him I am blown away by his ability to chronicle the culture, times and mindset of late 20th and early 21st century America not just black americans but simply common man america. His works of fiction and documentary speak eloquently of the universiality of ordinary people while embracing the black persons story we see in the hardship of a people, everyones humanity. With this story of the leevies breaking he has shown that this is tragedy of all america. When my brother is hurting I am hurting when a black american is hurting all america is hurting.

I was discourage to see the lack of progress in the gulfstates. But I must acknowledge I have seen recently in the federal government situaitons I have not experienced since the Reagan Administration. There is A great deal of incompetence in the burueacracy It seems endemic in republican administrations. Especially when dealing with the concerns of people without much power and wealth. THE second problem is that when THE INCOMPETENCE is exposed and angry victims of it are demanding redress of the problem. The government reacts with incredible vindictiveness to these poor people. It is never covert abuse that can be sued it is trailers sitting empty because of paper work. Most of their tactic is creating miles of paperwork and witholding help through ommission. Never receiving any paperwork always happens to the most frustrated people files. I have seen it happen to disabled vets since the Bushes have been in office. They spend money to beautify hospital garden while refusing to buy up to the minute and new medication for the sick. I have seen them refuse in southern VA hospital to put an Asian American vet on life support He got on for a week only because an Asian resident bravely countermanded to supervising doctors order after he left the ICU unit. I never saw the resident on that floor again.
The next day the doctors started tormenting the family to pull the plug.

Yes New Orleans ain't going to get much help because they were just too uppity getting angry about their abuse they didn't take it like a man. I can just see it and have seen it. Makes one wish for Clinton back.

friday night fright

Well today one of my favorite shows can back for a new season. It's on HBO and it is a political panel discussion show. I liked today's show because one of the panelists was a Pseudo-Intellectual.... He was a Brit that was espousing the New Republican Spin. Yes Bush is not very bright, but look at Clinton he changed his mind with very book he read HE WAS GASP!!! a ditherer and a reader. But Bush he might be dumb but he can recognize an enemy and a threat. I have a bird dog that's dumb as a brick but he can recognize an enemy and a threat, as nice as that trait is I AM not recommending the republican party make him president. Clinton may have been a ditherer but when it came to meeting out justice to Al Qaeda he did it by not embroiling us in a NO WIN war. There was a reason Colin Powell did not Go into Iraq. It was his experience in another NO WIN war Vietnam. Clinton just bombed the bastards. Clinton Knew how to be succinct and to the point. He was not perfect in foreign policy ignoring Rwanda was a huge mistake.

Another thing I love is price of gas. The oil companies have been swearing that there has been no price gouging, the president has sworn, the republican party swears it also. So why two months before the election prices are mysteriously lowering. Do these people honestly believe that we will not expect the prices to go up after the election, I do. Anyone who votes republican expecting the prices to go down Needs to seriously sue their school system for producing such ignorance or declare themselves brain dead and ready for organ harvesting.

summer time

Summertime is passing by quickly and thank you for that. Soon it will be labor day that wonderful holiday immortalized in the movie with William Holden, Kim Novak, RosalindRussell
and Susan Strasberg. Labor Day a holiday dedicated to the worker and unions. In this era of unbridled greed by corporate interests it is a bit of an anachronism. As the rich become obscenely wealthy and the working class more oppressed I wonder if the fading middle-class have realized that their partnership with the conservative leadership and religions are the cause of their slide in to the grave. It seems that the middle class bourgeiouise attitudes in the end will destroy them. Their need to legislate conservative morality will in the end destroy any financial and class gains they and their ancestors have made. Already it is easier for a lower class person to enter the middle-class in Europe than America. The first time ever in history America is slipping the middle-class is losing ground and money quickly, while rich are becoming wealthier as the percentage of multi-millionaires are becoming billionaire and now trillionaire is the next goal for them.

The sad thing is that most americans believes all these billionaire are making wealth for society, but sadly this is not the case. The billions of dollars is coming into their pockets by paying slave wages, taking away benfits and salary packages that are a tiny step away from embezzlement of retirement funds of employees.

The silent movie Metropolis showed a bleak future. Now in the new millenium instead of Europe evolving into worker slavery it is America beating path to this future.

A Little thing called Common Sense

I was surfing the net when I came upon a debate on gay marrriage. I truly thought that I had fell down the rabbit hole or maybe grew wings and landed on kukuburra land. For one thing it is not a discussion on gay marriage it was a discussion on limiting marriage and marital rights to select people. These people would have select rights and priveleges granted to them the way in Nazi Germany and Communist countries Aryans and Party menbers , had or have rights others do not have.

The arguement was twofold for legislating discrimanation. To protect children and uphold the sanctity of judeo christian values. Both arguements are meant to elicit a knee-jerk mentality reaction that many americans practice and are proud of, known as old fashion values. Sometimes what you are smelling is not a misnamed rose But stinkweed. The arguement about children is that we must turn heterosexual unions into members only country club. With said affliation belonging only to heterosexuals. Since heterosexual child molesters and death row inmates are by law allowed to marry I see no logic in this arguement. When heterosexual perverts, criminal and murderers are allowed into the country club, yet law abiding, tax paying and mentally sound homosexuals are barred . How is this going to protect children, it does not even protect adults. Also many heterosexuals are marrying yet opting not to have children, said people are CHILDLESS, does this mean that said union are no longer sanctified and thus null and void. IN the eyes of the child protector it would seem so, as marriage is viewed as a vehicle in which to procreate children and raise them. Will this also mean that Single parents are no longer legally parents as they are not raising their offspring in the sanctity of government legislated and approved unions, how Orweallian. Will the government someday decide that the functionally mentally ill and challanged heterosexauls should not wed. After that will the diabetic and obese, addicts and people with history of familial cancer not wed to protect future children from future illnesses.

About religion I will be brief, will the government in the future start legislating a state religion will those of us who get married in a circle or an alternative religious ceremony someday find out their marriage is void. No this is not a debate on Gay Marriage But The Limiting of The Civil Rights of Law Abiding Citizens, You do not have to like Will and Grace or Queer Eye TO SEE CLEARLY that it is not the rights of only homosexuals but the rights of all americans including the children, of which statically some will grow up to be gay, that will be legislated away.

To those of you that say the republicans would never do anything that bad. This is a party that could not find New Orleans, Mississippi and Alabama for a week after Katrina. Do you really want to place the protection your Civil and Human rights in a government that Can only be efficient when giving the top 7% of the country a tax break.

thats all from the hinterlands.

gremlins of the computer age

I have always wondered if there is a gremlin associated with computers. It seems that no matter what one does no matter how large the letters spelling NOT TRASH on the post it with your user name and password is always missing from where you tack it up on your organizer. I know from childhood to appease an angry domovoy you need to clean house and get out the vodka and a nice piece of pastry. Though my husbands domovoy prefers oreo cookies and chocolate milk. I wonder if skittles and mountain dew might calm the little beastie.

chatter from the hinterlands

Living in the provinces is interesting. Its news stations here are great for a laugh there are not any real investigative reporters out here. The only story in months has been the evils of hybrid cars and how the _Bush non administrations is protecting us from the perversion of alternative fuels. I do not think that the station was listening when the president accused us of being oil junkies in need of too big a fix. It is bad when the source is telling you to cut down your score. That speech went over their heads. But this state is a Texas wannabe. My husband was surfing the dish a few days back when fox, which rhymes with a four letter word if you have an accent, news demonstrated its normal lack of acuity by stating Gas prices are going down. Good thing about the bush non administration is that it has taught us not to get our hopes up. The price of gas climbed up ten cents a day later. I guess the oil companies think americans in will close their eyes and shout I believe in fox news and while blinded conveniently miss the 10 cent hike.

Yes the bush non-administration has taught americans two new pastimes pessimism and taking civil and human rights away from defenseless minorities. God Bless the USA

tv witches

My two great beefs in life one reading a book and finding out it is number 4 in set of six book with chronilogical order. Happened to me in my childhood with the narnia books colored my perception of the series darkly. I did not like the sappy ending of the series and by the time I reached the first book I was tired of seeing another witch and powerful woman character demonized. That summer I decided to read all the books I could find in the glendale library about elizabethan england I had just discovered shakespeare. Narnia was suppose to be my escapist reading something to relax after wading through Knox's sermons about his peoples sixteenth century dress, womans sluttishness(he makes rap singers seem like enlightened feminists) and Queen Mary of Scot(she offended his male sensibilities greatly being female and smelling of popery which is different from modern popurri).

Second beef watching a show being advertised giving the impression to one certain demographic that it is friendly to their interests or belief. When said person gets interested in watching it they find themselves bombarded by another demographics belief system. Case in point the movie with jennifer lopez and jim caviezel "something" angel the trailers gave you the impression you were going to a psychic thriller ala sixth sense. The movie unfolded itself and became an experience on par with a bad ACA (adult child alcoholics)meeting.

Not only are cheesy message movies using this blatant false advertising but the BBC has adopted it. yes the people who gave us "upstairs downstairs"," the wives of king henry the eight" and numerous classics has fallen to television cheesiness, shell game hucksterism, apocalyptic fundementalist fairytales. It all started with campaign that heaven forbid could it be possible true pagan and witch friendly show. A but the truth, as my old world russian mother would say, is never get our hopes up because God will always disappoint you, went in another direction. A rosemary's baby heading to left behind in a hallelujah chorus direction. I must say though the woman vicar at end the of the pilot was a nice show to any recalcitrant young lesbians that there is a place for you in the fold. Subtlety is not the hallmark of this show. Well good day from the hinterlands