Happy New Year Since the Solstice life has been good I truly have decided that self improvement is really the quickest way for a angry melancholy person to find some serenity, but for it to work you Need to go into it with zero expectations and an inquisitive mind. I have been practicing yoga for more that a year for the benefits in treating my arthritic back and it work s (best book-Relief is in the stretch by Loren Fishman MD>) I have changed my practice to included weight loss and I am getting in the philosophy of yoga it is a area I have flirted with off and on since being a teenager. It is working to help me become truly centered and accepting of myself and my body. Having been a bulimic and a sometime anorexic and now obese this gift of Yoga is a true blessing Thank Goddess. I have found that refusing to use a scale and accepting the changes in my body in clothing size is a better way for my eating disordered mind to take on weight loss. I also must accept in my heart that, failure is an option I respect my body and mind that weight loss is not what they need to be working on with my eternal soul now. I am lucky that now is the right time to return my body to healthy weight. Two years ago I was blessed with giving up on my addiction to nicotine and I began working out at a gym to spend less time craving cigarettes and lighting up. So I believe that I can safely and sanely loss weight is the insane diet obsessed world. A healthy analogy I use with my mind is that I should view my body as a predigree pet like an Akita dog or a show horse. I should fuss over the food, health and exercise of my body as said pet. For me this is a new way of looking at my body. I unfortunately was exposed to a great deal of body, sex and sexuality hatred in the religion I was raised in. Too many stories of matyrs and the body maiming they exposed themselves to, left me with a skewed look myself, my feminity and the material world and life. Enjoyment of life was to be viewed with suspicion so very few things could be enjoyed. Food and eating where one of the innocous joys as long I stayed thin.
It disturbs me as a woman that the fashion industry in America refuses to join European countries in protecting women against Against the disease of Anorexia. In baseball they are taking steps to protect atheletes from harming their bodies in training with steriods. Yet American Fashion INdustry is so arrogant in their power hungry need control Womans bodies that they are willing kill and develop in women a disease to FEEL a POWER HUNGER RUSH. I have a friend in the fashion industry who SAYS Gay men who hate women are for it, OBSCENELY THIN MODELS, that is homophobia, Anna Wintour is not a gay man. I disagree I believe that these fashion designers and editors nerds in their youth and now the have the power to tell beautiful women that they are less than unless the are half dead. These people covet these beautiful womens aura and are so enraged by envy and coveteouness they will kill them so the they do not enjoy their good fortune. To allow a half dead girl walk down the runway shows only this. I HATE WOMEN, I HATE TRUE PHYSICAL BEAUTY AND HAVE NO AESTHETIC CONCEPT OF PHYSICAL HUMAN BEAUTY, I AM POWER HUNGRY, I HATE AND COVET THESE GIRLS LIVES AND GOOD FORTUNE, I AM EVIL. In case the Fashion industry wants to blame the American people and women for this trend I DID NOT RECEIVE A E-MAIL ASKING IF I WANTED TO SEE ANOREXICS ON THE CATWALK THIS YEAR NEITHER DID MILLIONS OF OTHER AMERICAN WOMEN..... NOR DID WE ENMASS WRITE VOGUE TO SUGGEST THAT HEROIN CHIC AND WAIFS WOULD BE A GOOD DIRECTION FOR A MAGAZINE SPREAD. GROW UP FASHION EDITORS AND DESIGNERS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOUR ACTIONS AND MORAL VAGRANCIES.