all in youur head or bed

Well today on Hecate is an article about the ex-members of exodus that gave an apology to gay persons for belonging to a organization that believes you can pray away Sexual Orientation...But america is a strange country they believe one a can pray away Addiction and send addicts to 12-step programs and a then disappointed when only .08 of these people are cured or control the illness. Americans love to exorcise the mentally ill and then are surprised when not Jesus, but anti-psychotics ten years later down the line cure and control the problem the only demon there was the one called Bio-chemical defiency, oh my what is the Aramaic name for that.

IN america there is a belief that if it is strange or percieved as immoral it is done completely at the will of the person doing the behavior....Why because self Matyrdom is a great love of americans...I could eat that hamburger and be fat, but I have discipline, poor me, evil fat people... I could be gay but I like to stup women, evil bitches, evil gay men..For being a country that is supposed to be so noble and so generous, we really have little true compassion for others and since it is de riguer to be racist or anti-semetic: homophobia, sexism and fatism is now acceptable to preach and practice....even in pagan podiums..the idea that a woman might want to be treated as human being and might not want to practice malnutrition as a way life, to accomodate some men and thin women thus allow them to feel validated, or a women or man not want to stup each other is so radical it must be stomped out with shame, ridicule and law> one wonders exactly what Freudian horrors lie under the subconscious of mainstream america OHH to be the forensic psychoanalyst that studies early 21st century america what a fetid core they will digging up to scruntinize...

Daddy Dearest gave me his ring

Once again stories about Purity Balls are showing up in my environment..I have a big problem with this new custom that the fundies want society to embrace...The Idea that Purity can be coerced in teenage girls in pretend pseudo-incetous environment and bribing the girl with gold rings and princess ball gowns. At a time when these girls should going to proms with young men and learning how communicate with the male sex... these girls are dancing the night away with daddy and get pinned to daddy dearest....But seeing where this is coming from I am not very surprised at the emotional incest being perpetrated with these girls and their fathers.

IN the mid- 80's I was in the recovery movement in Los Angeles and I went to ACA meetings...ACA=Adult Children of Alcoholics or really any dysfunctional family would do. I learned there that the people that quoted the saying put the fun in dysfuntional were Asinine morons in denial or looking for attention...I really became grateful for the fact the whatever excess my family had and childhood abuse I suffered it was much smaller than the burden life had put on other poor souls..There in those meetings many dealt with child sexual abuse and many came from very religious families but in Los Angeles the amount of people suffering was a moderate minority of people..

I moved to the bible belt in the mid-nineties and it did not matter what recovery group I was in there was many people mostly women who qualified to call themselves incest survivors or survivor of childhood sexual abuse....There was no ACA to help them deal...But plenty of Christian Therapists to make certain they were sedated enough and remain christian enough for the Bible Belt....Alot of these women listening to their stories one could find that church was always in the background of the incidents...Many of the perpetrators were in the same church or religion and the religion nearly always denigrated women and viewed them as handmaiden to men....All were terrified to speak up when young because they were afraid that family and church would see them as unpure(that they had commited an sin that needed to be kept quiet to protect the family)...Now these young girls the inheritors of the mantle of handmaiden are being exhorted and bribed with a great deal of money to stay pure and never forget their first love DAddy...The problem is what happens to the girl that does not pass the purity test. What are her psychological problems in the future...Or do fundementalists just want the hymen intact..Another funny thing when I see the pictures of praticipants of these events they tend to be uber-white blond girl with hollywood thin bodies in white ball gowns...It is as though there is a tacit agreement amongst the fathers that fat girls do not count and those daughters can stay at home because the fat has nuetered them sexually....Are fundamentalists really that vain and stupid or maybe they did not think anyone would notice.

Oh well merrie part from the provinces

nattering and ranting and blessings

Yesterday a fashion Mag entered my possession the mail person brought it and today I went on a Marie Claire binge as I had not read any of them for 3months..It is a good mag and tries hard to be politically savvy. Unfortuantely amongst the writers is a faint whiff of contempt for feminism while trying at heart to be feminist in helping to better the women's lot in life around the world..This is the conundrum, the last thing women want is to be tarred with the any hint of feminism... It is like the women who want equal protection in the work place but politically distance themselves from the clear-eyed people trying to achieve it ... They want the benefits of feminism but they do not want the ridicule that comes with being a feminist.(abit chicken shit of mine and the next generation). It is as though we fear that good-looking and charming sexist will not want to be with us If we show some back bone and political radicalness..

I cannot chastize without admitting during the 80's I back down from feminism and sucked in my gut and bit my tongue and married a Charming sexist..It got after 5 years, me being kicked out and on my parents doorstep...Of course in therapy for being a recalcitrant woman because that is what we do to troublesome women. They are sent to therapist or 12-steps...What I needed was consciousness raising exactly what poor Britney Spears and dear Lindsey LOhan need...

A little black belt feminism goes along way in 90's rereading Germaine Greer, Simone,BrownMiller and the modern Backlash. These Women Invigorated me and imaginary addictions disappeared and happy fatness occured..for the first time in ten years I went to a restaurant did not eat rabbit food. Yes immersion into Black belt feminism worked miracles that our father or the serenity prayer could never achieve it was salvation through activism and spirituality became clean like a diamond sutra for women: feminism and Yes Goddess Worship, because If you cannot worship OUR Goddess Or see the Divine Feminine then it dose not matter what your liberal ecumenical creds are you are still a conservative women because FEMALE DIVINITY IS SO IMPOSSIBLE YOU CANNOT EVEN SAY THE PRONOUN SHE IN CONNECTION WITH GOD OR FEAR TO SAY IT..you are not superior in calling God He because God is sexless you are too afraid to go among people and say it..SHE 3 letters that you cannot say because of male conditioning given you disgust for femaleness equating it with bestiality, unholiness and thus whenever you hear someone say She you feel a need belittle them by implying they are nitpicking when they performing an act of courage..

In movies 13 Warrrior to Gaudi Afternoon Goddess worshipper are demonized as horrors or ridiculed as hypocrtical leeches by real working lapsed catholic intellectual women...THat are too afraid to tell the church to go fuck off..It is really enraging as well as disheartening and depressing to go to a movie Start to Enjoying it and Discover it is really an exercise in Lynching Goddess spirituality, idealogy and Goddess worshippers...Masquerading as a adventure or a comedy but hiding the message disdain to women and men who actually view the feminine as holy.

But I will look at the bright side If we must be demonized or ridiculed then Goddess resonants in the world...Where She has kept quiet now She speaks..The Seventh age is over And Mother is back, pushing into the back ground a shame faced Son...Goddess is back...Goddess bless.

picture by Mark ATwood = Pele Rising

Merrie part from the Hinterlands............

Pole and Polar bears

I was watching the News yesterday a Dangerous proposition to ones preception of reality in the good ole' USA... All the big democratic male white politicos were Kvetching about Hillary probably earlier before these broadcasts they frantically sent aides to search in thesauruses and dictionary for words that will obscure the true misogyny of their attitudes, words and message. The new catch-phrase is Polarizing. Hillary is polarizing a metaphor that shows a lush freudian slip these men have made in using this word... for to put it bluntly and crudely the only thing that makes Hillary polarizing is the fact that HILLARY LACKS A POLE...one can see the frustration on these mens face when talking about Hil to them the only reason she is not viable is that she is a woman. I can just see a bubble above Edwards and et al. Of course she Is Political Dead weight SHE IS A WOMAN. For some reason women in the United States believe that Men will take care of them that deep down they care for the female sex. What these women mistake is that, yes, their fathers, brothers and husbands might love them and want to see them succeed, But they do not exactly want any other women to get uppity and think that they should expect what their little petunia's are getting. That is a serious mistake that will hamper women ever achieving any true political, social and financial power.

Polar bears are dying... I think that their will be a special bardo for us people who contributed to this crime..Soylent Green seems to be an option in our furture on earth I wonder if that is why you never see it on TV in the darkest hours of the night.

Haggard went to gayhab I hope that he finds a measure of peace and acceptance for himself because I know that in his chosen religion there will be none.

refections of hippies and Goddess and Goodnesss

A few days ago a adopted some plants to place in my front garden one rose bush and a wisteria bush from Home Depot... I use the word adopt because I think I am becoming one of the nutty Hippies that used to live in my neightborhood in L.A. during the sixties before the Manson Family arrived and my mother became a verbal champion of Hippies,,,,, Strange for her since she was a Hawk and a staunch republican but she perferred hippies over bikers any time of the day and made certain everyone knew that... I had a friend in school who was named Meadow and also one who proudly announced to friends her mother was a Witch and Psychic I thought that was the coolest..... Halloweeen was a holiday made for children and adults knew this and behaved for one night of the year....

Then I grew up and married, got divorced and went into recovery and saw a shadow cover the land... It started with the demonization of atheists and agnostics in recovery literature and then I moved to the Bible Belt and in a moment of satori enlightment I saw recovery for what it was the last net of christianity trowling for converts among the ill instead of medical help for the sick..... I saw that I had a choice be part of the problem or be free..... So I left recovery and entered life, a political, opinionated and emotional life things all feared and hated among the serene and serenity seekers.....I learned that my opinion counts and acceptance is not an option if it means status quo and complacency..... It is also a rich spiritual and mystical life.... I am ill but also I am alive and I will never allow serene complacency rule my life and turn it into a half-life...

To live life one must be constantly learning because reality is not constant..........to love life one must be willing to feel even if it is fear, anger or lust..... one must be willing to feel love and compassion..... the lesser emotions and the finer emotions are what make people> People without them we live in a state of shame and lack of understanding. To be able to empathize with someone you must be able to feel or have been able to feel what they are feeling.... Unability to empathize means one can not really form true compassion.... What one will feel for the other is pity and not true compassion....To be angry is to be alive, to be wrathful is to allow anger to grow from benficiality to an emotion hurtful and destructive....God does not feel wrath because She is too wise to allow Her anger to grow to such lengths... It is humankind that has placed on the Divinity a face of man and placed on Her what is weakness and rarely a true strength...... We want God to be Like us forgetting that God Is Pure SAnctity, sacredness, Holiness and Love.... All that is good Is God/DEss... Humankind has only scratched the surface of goodness but she is the embodiment of it...... society subconsciously knows this because GOODNESS AND GODDESS SO closely spelled alike...GOD IS GOOD but GODDESS IS TRUELY GOODNESS.