PEDOPHILIA, responsibilty and tragedy

I need to talk about something that many people do not understand and use to spread hatred and ignorance. The belief that pedophile can be Gay. That is not true that pedophiles are homosexual despite what the preacher tells you. A PEDOPHILE IS A PEDOPHILIAC THAT IS A PERVESION AND A DISEASE. A pedophile can prefer one sex over the other, girl-children over boys...but they do not have any aversion to the sexual assault of children not of their favorite type victims sex, because to them having sex with a child is paramount. Many are married and have sex with adults of the opposite SEx, that fact in itself should blow out of the water, the pedophiles are Gay theory .

Another disturbing tread the Catholic priests are gay. Used to excuse the pedophiliacs in the church. 30% of child molestation victims are Female of priests. We hear nothing about them because the church is putting a, Why they were gay!, spin on why this tragedy and crime occured. Also young girls are of little concern to the religious community except to badger with Abstinence pledges. Because of Eve the female sex must and should suffer in matters of sex by god's order. This accusation of Gayness makes it easy for intelligent women to excuse the churches anti-female stance and still quiet the fear , that maybe feminists are right, the church is too corrupt and too entrenched with anti-female sentiment to be saved or even to bother saving. All the anti-Female stuff can be excused with OF COURSE they are GAy. Accusing the priests of homosexuality allows all christian leaders to say to men that Jesus loves you don't go away it is the gays who are evil. Not the bible we are not anti hetorsexual sex just don't do it with good christian girl, unless married to her. Homophobia is providing the Christian Church with biggest responsiblity dodge since WE MUST KILL(pagans, jews and any one else), because god and the Book of Revelation says so. Yeah Xians are not big on personal or social responsibility when it comes to their religious organizations or literature. REad biblical law a nice essay on who to attack and kill when they piss us off. THAT IS LIFE IN THE BIG CITY.

Man-hating, Feminist and relationship.

I always wondered as a young adult why there was a word in the English language for the hatred of women and it is a pretty and fancy word. Yet, women are only allowed manhater or thanks to Rush( president of the little wee wee club) femi-nazi. It seems that some men were so proud of their woman hating that they need a fancy term to justify it. Why he is not a man who hates women, that's gay, He is a mysognist. May- be it is just that before women got book learnin it was way to hide from some poor future wife or mother-in-law the true nature of a man.

But do feminists hate men or is it the behaviour that some men do and the attitudes of these men been taught and developed, that feminist hate. Yeah women are and were oppressed and so there are bitter feminists. Then there are the feminist that know, yes, men can be so much more better, I prescribe to that philosophy. I found that as with any relationship, if you need to pander the person and stroke their ego when it is already large to begin with then unhappiness will reign in the relationship.

Number one marriage for me was case in point. A man who cannot respect their partner and find at least one talent worth bragging to the world. The need for that man to continue telling you nasty things in hope of improving your character bodes badly for the relationship. If a man needs to improve you it means you are not the person he wants or really cares for. It is that future somebody is the apple of his eye. Having been on the recieving end of that behaviour I Can tell women who like save men or view them as projects. The men you are with know that it is not them you love , but that future somebody and that is what is making them so angry.

Husband Number two is different Why because A. like him and B> I never hid my feminism .
C. Having worked in the middle East he knew everything in MS. magazine was correct.
If a man does not believe women are oppressed forget it . IT means he doesnot believe women are people and he will always have a reason for why he comes first. This is not a case of education or intelligence but of attitude and when a dealing with a person as any mother of a teenager knows attitude is paramount in getting through to the individual.

A feminist can have a loving relationship with a man and a heterosexual male can love a feminist. neither is exclusive of the other. Despite what some Snake oil salesmen maquerading as female psychotherapists say Men are not a HOt house flower that need you to constanly fertilize them . Men don't need Bullshit: They need an ally, like you do. If your freinds are your support then why are you in a relationship go out and have fun. Fondness, Friendship and Fucking will always save and maintain a relationship. If he needs a keeper and a handler then he doesnot want a wife.

Abstinence and sabers

I would like to talk about abstinence and the movement since it has been daggled by fate in my face for the last few weeks. First I read in a fashion mag Glamour about abstinence ball called purity balls. The imagery was cheesy, sleazy and sick in nouveau riche fundie style that is so popular in the Bible Belt. Image TExas poptart promising to love honor and obey daddy until singing boyfriend is given permission to pop It and that is a purity ball with ballerinas and pseudo-antebellum rituals like walking under swords to officiating witnesses, a nice Militaristic touch because when we are dealing with teenage hormones an imperialistic attitude is needed. I wonder if the term Emotional Incest was ever introduced to these people. They keep blathering on about how good a father's attention is. That girls with good relationships with their father do better in school, go to college and have high powered careers. What they do not say is that neither hell nor high water are they going allow little petunia to have a career. They will make sure to arrange a traditional marriage for the little flower. I do not think these people understand it is the quality of the attention that the daughter gets from father matters not the quantity nuerotic attention.

Patriarchal Father can be very attentive, unfortunately, to the children they have The Barretts of Wimpole street comes to mind. It is an attentiveness garners for the children large psychotherapy bills and for the unfortunate few time spent in battered womens shelters when becoming adults. It is very hard to watch a grown woman who has never been taught to think for herself and see religious organizations circling like vultures wanting to tell her what to think. The problem with the abstinence movement is that it goes against Human Nature most teenage girls do not want to have sex, they want a boy to love them and be affectionate. Their bodies are still getting used being fertile to really want or enjoy sex and procreation. BUT teenage boys are another subject, the truth is at the purity ball the wrong gender is promising to remain abstinent. WE really need boys promising their mothers that they will remain pure and not badger girls for sex at these balls. Then abstinent pledges will work and movement would have credibility. We will never see that because of the male eeck factor the imagery should evoke.

The inalienable right to Sadness

I need to talk about sadness AKA depression, melancholy, sorrow. Sadness is described by many poetic words. Some expletives and some slang. When I think of sadness the three words above is what I usually think of to describe it. Pessimism and cynicism are by product. When people think of sadness it is always in the negative as something to get rid of. I am by definition a sad person a trait that runs in my family and the two races that gave birth to me. I wonder why a race would be immersed in sadness, why a family would have it for a trait. Depression is a clinical disease I have yet I am known for my sense of humour. I had a relative who used to say "If it gets any worse I am going to need to laugh." I think it meant that when I reach my sadness saturation point I will need to find humour in the situation. I believe all great humour that is poignant, potent and penetrating is bourne of sadness and nursed in cynicism.

Among the sad we really enjoy gallows-humour that perky people find morbid or offensive. We poke fun at society because we like to jerk the chain of complacent happiness addicts and perky people. Sad people are angry because we are sad because sadness is painful and because society wants us to be perky people. That way we do not joke around at inappropriate times and poke fun at sacred cows. But we need to liberate our sadness. There is beauty in sadness look at all the great poetry and songs sadness has given birth to in humanity and we kick it around like an old dog or worse an old girlfriend or boyfriend.

I believe that before curiousity, it was sadness that caused mankind to develop. My cat is curious and she has yet to build a stone temple or learn to cultivate grain crops. Now I do suffer from Depression and do take meds. But I still am a sad person so I know that sadness is not a disease but depression and its inertia is. When in my twenties in the 80's I used read the success books of captains of industry. What I learned is that as they climb the ladder of success they are rarely bothered by sadness or deep introspection. Which makes it easier to throw competitors to wayside. Hey the successful accumulation of wealth does not mean you have the finer emotions. Just be happy with the next bright ball wealth brings you.

Depression is an illness. depressed is not feeling sad but being engulfed in sadness. Its like the difference between being highly imaginative or being delusional, like being pious and being obsessive compulsive about your religion that you need it plastered around you 24/7. It is not so much quantity of sadness, though it can be a sign, but the quality. High quality melancholy creates the blues, depression kills the singer with drug fueled excess. Alot of artists say they cannot create if they have a mental illness and treat it with drugs. BULLSHIT I have seen people who were talented become focused and great artists when they recover. In the old generation of medication most of them had a sedative affect that did hindered creative work and just living, but that has changed. The clearer the mind, the higher the intellect and the more focused the creativity. You can be on medication and use your sadness now at healthy level to create beauty in the world.

Sadness does not kill but to treat it as a anathema to the human soul creates a climate that kills people for they fear it, to the point were they deny it, allowing it to grow unhindered in a climate of fear and they die trying to self medicate. Or we teach people to medicate any uncomfortable feeling making children and adults complacent happiness addict spending their lives chasing the happiness fix.

I am getting off the merry-go-round and accepting my sadness acknowledging the pain and beauty of this emotion. In Asia the most compasssionate being and the most beautiful being in the universe is Kwan Yin. Everyday she sheds every tear ever shed or will ever be shed easing the pain of the sorrowful as she cries. I think of that as most kind and beautiful thing to do. That even though I am sad and crying that along with me cries Kwan Yin willing to ease my sorrow. Sadness also gives birth to empathy.

Clothes, Corsets, Goths and burdens

I need to write that my disillusion with fashion stems for reading a great deal of feminist and renunciate literature in my youth. I realise that fashion is something that is in the core of women. Over the centuries it has always been woman who made and created fashion, the 20th century male fashion designer in womens clothing was non-existent until industrialization of western society. By studying mens affect on women clothing one sees a disturbing trend starting in the renaissance, of women bodies being reshaped by men and corsets. With industrialization comes a hatred of the natural and love for what can be created by industry. The environmnt must be tamed reshaped along with the human body.The hatred of the natural body of a women is seen in the extreme disfigurement of the female body that reaches its height in victorian times in the west and now it has returned with the worship of the anorexic by runway designers. But to be fair men in the past also reshaped their bodies with the same devils contraption the corset. WE hear a great deal about the stupidity of women and corsets but Victorian males were just as addicted to theirs. The trend of anorexia as a beauty ideal is also crossing genders.

My belief is that the culture mavens, the powers that be really do not want to see people happy and satisfied (let us not expect fullfillment). Why, are they so naturally evil or is that at night when they go to sleep, in million dollar mansions and/or condos, is there a hole in their souls. Does this hole so bother them that to see a happy and content poor person bothers them to no end. Is the need for them to have asthetic beauty so unnatural and plastic that it seems to be unattainable to every one, except those with money, who can make them richer and obsessive/compulsive teenagers. Is this the true goal of their professional existence.

To wear clothes is political statement as great as not wearing them. I see goths everyday and as a young adult longed to be brave enough to be punk. Today I cannot wait to be small enough to shop at Hot Topic and embrace the dark side. In the Bible Belt the most subversive thing you can do is either wear a pentacle or dress as a Goth. I love Goth Kids and admire them, they are truely brave. Although I admire her charity work I do so miss Angelina's goth alter -ego.

I realise when I look at some fashion mags that looking like a tasteful expensive clone is their end all and be all (Glamour a big felon in this). Much creativity is disappearing in Women. Fashion is becoming a uniform of conformity to good taste and over consumptive spending. Do we really need a 5000 dollar handbag. Maybe the rich need to spend more on taxes. They do use airports and the toilet. Maybe they should be made to pay an unfair share taxes like the poor and middle class. Why when we talk about fairness and not overburdening people it is the rich and corporate america who make it sound like they are one step away collaspsing from the weight of their burden. If you do not wish to be socially responsible, then giveaway your money and try being poor, you will love to be in a high tax bracket after that experience. If you refuse to pay your burden, then give up all wealth you made off the american people and go live somewhere else. No one ever became wealthy in a vacuumn it was off the backs of someone else that true wealth is accomplished. You can at least pay for the some of the chiropractor bills of those people.

Fashion Angst and money morals

steppe wanderer

Today I was surfing the web and hit a couple of fashion mag sites. I like fashion because to be honest part of me is shallow and likes pretty clothes even if they are made by slave labor. It is like diamonds I think they are beautiful but since the 80's I have not looked at them seriously to buy because of the amount of human pain that goes on in producing them. To be honest fur coats are pretty but again I am not saving up for the pure reason of the pain factor it takes to produce it. But regular clothes and steak for some reason I can find a way to ignore the pain factor. I am not a person who believes that because I eat a hamburger, it is all of a sudden premissable; I can and should wear a mink coat or a blood diamond, sometimes a line must be drawn in the sand of of morality and personal responsibility to the world and an adherence to causing as little pain and harm while existing in the world. The greatest gift I have been given in the world is the lack of wealth. To some people in the world I am poor but to many others I am very wealthy. I do not have a great deal of disposable income and so for me I am extremely lucky that true immoral behaviour is out of my reach. I will never have to worry that I have paid for a purse or a pair of shoes an amount of money that most Thai families do not earn in a single year.

Here in America there is an obsession with the accumulation of wealth even churches are getting involved with seminars and workshops. ON how to get cherry with Christ and be a miser. I do not know how Christ is viewing this obsession among his followers but I do not think having read his words in the Bible that he is very happy about it.

So I believe that we need a new movement in which Obsessive and obscenely large amounts of money owned by people is viewed as moral deficient and anathema to the human spirit. Obscene wealth and spending should be viewed with the same distaste as Pedophilia and Racism. Maybe them the human race will start to learn personal responsibility and grow up.

YOGA , FASHION and new year

Happy New Year Since the Solstice life has been good I truly have decided that self improvement is really the quickest way for a angry melancholy person to find some serenity, but for it to work you Need to go into it with zero expectations and an inquisitive mind. I have been practicing yoga for more that a year for the benefits in treating my arthritic back and it work s (best book-Relief is in the stretch by Loren Fishman MD>) I have changed my practice to included weight loss and I am getting in the philosophy of yoga it is a area I have flirted with off and on since being a teenager. It is working to help me become truly centered and accepting of myself and my body. Having been a bulimic and a sometime anorexic and now obese this gift of Yoga is a true blessing Thank Goddess. I have found that refusing to use a scale and accepting the changes in my body in clothing size is a better way for my eating disordered mind to take on weight loss. I also must accept in my heart that, failure is an option I respect my body and mind that weight loss is not what they need to be working on with my eternal soul now. I am lucky that now is the right time to return my body to healthy weight. Two years ago I was blessed with giving up on my addiction to nicotine and I began working out at a gym to spend less time craving cigarettes and lighting up. So I believe that I can safely and sanely loss weight is the insane diet obsessed world. A healthy analogy I use with my mind is that I should view my body as a predigree pet like an Akita dog or a show horse. I should fuss over the food, health and exercise of my body as said pet. For me this is a new way of looking at my body. I unfortunately was exposed to a great deal of body, sex and sexuality hatred in the religion I was raised in. Too many stories of matyrs and the body maiming they exposed themselves to, left me with a skewed look myself, my feminity and the material world and life. Enjoyment of life was to be viewed with suspicion so very few things could be enjoyed. Food and eating where one of the innocous joys as long I stayed thin.

It disturbs me as a woman that the fashion industry in America refuses to join European countries in protecting women against Against the disease of Anorexia. In baseball they are taking steps to protect atheletes from harming their bodies in training with steriods. Yet American Fashion INdustry is so arrogant in their power hungry need control Womans bodies that they are willing kill and develop in women a disease to FEEL a POWER HUNGER RUSH. I have a friend in the fashion industry who SAYS Gay men who hate women are for it, OBSCENELY THIN MODELS, that is homophobia, Anna Wintour is not a gay man. I disagree I believe that these fashion designers and editors nerds in their youth and now the have the power to tell beautiful women that they are less than unless the are half dead. These people covet these beautiful womens aura and are so enraged by envy and coveteouness they will kill them so the they do not enjoy their good fortune. To allow a half dead girl walk down the runway shows only this. I HATE WOMEN, I HATE TRUE PHYSICAL BEAUTY AND HAVE NO AESTHETIC CONCEPT OF PHYSICAL HUMAN BEAUTY, I AM POWER HUNGRY, I HATE AND COVET THESE GIRLS LIVES AND GOOD FORTUNE, I AM EVIL. In case the Fashion industry wants to blame the American people and women for this trend I DID NOT RECEIVE A E-MAIL ASKING IF I WANTED TO SEE ANOREXICS ON THE CATWALK THIS YEAR NEITHER DID MILLIONS OF OTHER AMERICAN WOMEN..... NOR DID WE ENMASS WRITE VOGUE TO SUGGEST THAT HEROIN CHIC AND WAIFS WOULD BE A GOOD DIRECTION FOR A MAGAZINE SPREAD. GROW UP FASHION EDITORS AND DESIGNERS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOUR ACTIONS AND MORAL VAGRANCIES.